So what does it mean to be Bipolar?
Confusing, dramatic, depressing, difficult and the list goes on. Anyone who lives with this whether you have the illness or you live with someone with the illness, it's not easy.
I can list many negative things that Bipolar is but at this time I'd rather talk of how to try and turn it into a positive, but you must learn how first.
What can be positive about Bipolar? Well to me my Bipolar although I struggle with it many times a day, to me has many blessings as long as there are a few things I always remember to do.
Number 1, always without a doubt take your medication. Take it on time and don't miss that dose. I went through many years as soon as I started feeling better I discontinued my use and convinced myself I didn't need it, or worse, I never had this mental illness to begin with.
This thinking will always throw you back into a state of mind that no one, not even yourself can live with and what makes many people turn to suicide. I know I've been there and tried that.
My breaking point came four years ago when I was so depressed, felt so hopeless and hated who I was, I laid on my couch and contemplated how my end would be done. This thinking scared me so much that day, as I knew I was at the end, I knew I would have ended my life and my children would be the first to come home and find me. I immediately picked up the phone and called my doctor in desperation, crying wanting meds like I've never wanted them before.
My doctor tried me on a different medication I hadn't been on before and I'd been on so many over the years. This new one to me called Effexor, a anti depressent and with the grace of God has helped me and continues to help me four years later. I have had to adjust my dosage as with any medication your body gets immuned and needs to be either adjusted or changed. I wasn't about to change meds as this over many many years was the only medication that worked for me.
This does not mean it will help everyone but anyone with Bipolar who is having problems with their meds you may want to ask your doctor about this anti depressant.
Many doctors don't believe in putting Bipolar patients on anti depressants because it can cause a manic episode, but it's not the only medication I take. I also take Seroquel but only when I feel I'm very manic or feeling very depressed and what this does is keep me stable.
Number 2 to feeling the blessing of your Bipolar is to first accept you have it and recognize, recognize, recognize. Yes, YOU MUST yourself recognize your ups and downs including your paranoia that comes with this confusing illness, you must also take responsiblility for your actions, to a degree.
There are different degrees of Bipolar and different types of Bipolar, but myself being severe at many times will take responsiblity for my actions, even though my support of my family and friends will say it's not my fault. I actually get angry when they say that, although I'm grateful they accept my behaviour at times, I don't believe it's not my fault as I can control it if I choose to recognize the symptoms of the oncoming of those times when I feel it is becoming out of control.
Having or living with Bipolar is like living with two completely different people, one who is loving and one who can seem so evil and not evil by choice. It makes me cry when I hear or know of someone with this illness who doesn't have a great support group of family, friends or a doctor. I am blessed to live in this country where getting help from a family doctor is much easier and affordable then in other countries. So living here really has been my first obstacle in helping myself.
Over the many posts I make I will list all the blessings that Bipolar brings, but also all the ups and downs, the struggles with how society views me and others who have it and how I survive it daily and how my family survives it daily.
Until then, those who are struggling with it, think they may live with it or suspects someone they know may be living with it, my suggestion is to get help immediately whether through an on line support group, friends, family, doctors or a support group in your community, I want to tell everyone out there, it's not a curse like you think, if you help yourself, your nightmare can really become your blessing.
Confusing, dramatic, depressing, difficult and the list goes on. Anyone who lives with this whether you have the illness or you live with someone with the illness, it's not easy.
I can list many negative things that Bipolar is but at this time I'd rather talk of how to try and turn it into a positive, but you must learn how first.
What can be positive about Bipolar? Well to me my Bipolar although I struggle with it many times a day, to me has many blessings as long as there are a few things I always remember to do.
Number 1, always without a doubt take your medication. Take it on time and don't miss that dose. I went through many years as soon as I started feeling better I discontinued my use and convinced myself I didn't need it, or worse, I never had this mental illness to begin with.
This thinking will always throw you back into a state of mind that no one, not even yourself can live with and what makes many people turn to suicide. I know I've been there and tried that.
My breaking point came four years ago when I was so depressed, felt so hopeless and hated who I was, I laid on my couch and contemplated how my end would be done. This thinking scared me so much that day, as I knew I was at the end, I knew I would have ended my life and my children would be the first to come home and find me. I immediately picked up the phone and called my doctor in desperation, crying wanting meds like I've never wanted them before.
My doctor tried me on a different medication I hadn't been on before and I'd been on so many over the years. This new one to me called Effexor, a anti depressent and with the grace of God has helped me and continues to help me four years later. I have had to adjust my dosage as with any medication your body gets immuned and needs to be either adjusted or changed. I wasn't about to change meds as this over many many years was the only medication that worked for me.
This does not mean it will help everyone but anyone with Bipolar who is having problems with their meds you may want to ask your doctor about this anti depressant.
Many doctors don't believe in putting Bipolar patients on anti depressants because it can cause a manic episode, but it's not the only medication I take. I also take Seroquel but only when I feel I'm very manic or feeling very depressed and what this does is keep me stable.
Number 2 to feeling the blessing of your Bipolar is to first accept you have it and recognize, recognize, recognize. Yes, YOU MUST yourself recognize your ups and downs including your paranoia that comes with this confusing illness, you must also take responsiblility for your actions, to a degree.
There are different degrees of Bipolar and different types of Bipolar, but myself being severe at many times will take responsiblity for my actions, even though my support of my family and friends will say it's not my fault. I actually get angry when they say that, although I'm grateful they accept my behaviour at times, I don't believe it's not my fault as I can control it if I choose to recognize the symptoms of the oncoming of those times when I feel it is becoming out of control.
Having or living with Bipolar is like living with two completely different people, one who is loving and one who can seem so evil and not evil by choice. It makes me cry when I hear or know of someone with this illness who doesn't have a great support group of family, friends or a doctor. I am blessed to live in this country where getting help from a family doctor is much easier and affordable then in other countries. So living here really has been my first obstacle in helping myself.
Over the many posts I make I will list all the blessings that Bipolar brings, but also all the ups and downs, the struggles with how society views me and others who have it and how I survive it daily and how my family survives it daily.
Until then, those who are struggling with it, think they may live with it or suspects someone they know may be living with it, my suggestion is to get help immediately whether through an on line support group, friends, family, doctors or a support group in your community, I want to tell everyone out there, it's not a curse like you think, if you help yourself, your nightmare can really become your blessing.
illustration by Amanda WG
